I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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