yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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