Got a toothbrush?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
