do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
