I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
