She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
