OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize