Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
