dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
