Sponge bath it is.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
