We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
