Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
