I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
