PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
