hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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