i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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