If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
