I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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