you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
