So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
