What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
