i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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