we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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