i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
