So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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