how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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