i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
