everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
