come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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