Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
