I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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