Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
