You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
