Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
