And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
