So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
