Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
