He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
not ubering you a puppy
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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