I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
