Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
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