I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
