I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
