We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
