Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
