It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
