some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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