Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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