Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
