I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
