dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
