Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
