now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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