you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
