i don't like sucking hair
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Randomize
