Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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