I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
