dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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