You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
