this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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