1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
